Things are going a lot smoother now with Seton. She's getting used to being at the house, and is really trying to make things work. She's registered to go to scraft next month, and is working at the milner with ma today. things are still marvelous with Will...i am so lucky that i have him, seriously, he's the greatest guy I could ever imagine being with. We went to the light show on saturday night, Will, mak, Seton and I. it was really nice, then stopped at the end to see santa, have some hot choc, and makie played in the snow. sunday we went to the nutcracker. front row center, it was so great. the people in the pit were talking to makie before the show, so that made her feel very special. The ballet was beautiful, then we went to dinner with ma and seton afterwards.
So in other news...PJ is moving back here next month, with his girlfriend and the two girls. i'm pretty happy about that. i guess he's gonna stay with us until he can find a place. makie is way excited, cause his girls are 6 weeks older, and a year younger than her. it'll sure be crowded in the house though, but it'll be great.
So i've been thinking a lot lately about how i'm losing my best friend. for some reason, i end up getting someone that i'm incredibly close to for about a year or two, then we just kind of drift apart, cause life changes and such. I should be used to this i guess, but it's really bugging me. nae and i were inseperable for a little over a year. we even lived a couple doors down from each other for a few months. we had very similar relationships, and money situations, and life basically. but now, things are different. I've got will in my life, and things are going really great for me and everything, and she's worse off now than she was when we were hanging out. every time i call her, she' bitches about how much her life sucks, and if i say anything at all, if i say something good in my life, she shoots it down because her life is so hard and it's not fair, or if i complain about something then she just says it's nothing compared to how bad she's got it. so basically the whole conversation is her talking and me saying aww, poor nae. it's been this way for months now, and i'm just really sick of it. I just don't know what to do about it. i totally feel like it's time for me to move on, we have nothing in common anymore, but at the same time...she's been my best friend for almost 2 years. she never calls me, so it's always up to me to try to make contact, and she gives me such a guilt trip over not going to visit her, but every time i try to she has plans. i feel like it's really important for a girl to have a girlfriend she can turn to, but i just don't think that she's really there for me like she knows i am for her, which i have proven time and time again.
on top of that, i just don't see where i have time for other people in my life. my schedule is always pretty full, and everyone already complains that i don't have enough time for them. monday-brownies, tuesday-ballet, wednesday-mom night, thursday-will night, then the weekends, if i have mak, im doing stuff with her, if i don't then i do enjoy spending a little time with him. i only see him 5 out of every 14 days. i really don't think thats too much, not even close to enough if you ask me.
I would love to try to get together with some friends that i haven't hung out with in a while, but it seems like everyone is having the same trouble with trying to find free time. i don't know, maybe i'm just trying to find reasons to complain. i really shouldn't, things are going better for me now than they ever have been. work is way busy, but it's great, and they are really trying to keep me challenged, and Will is just super, mak is doing so great in school, they are telling me to try to get her into the ACAT program, cause she's just too darn smart (good thing she takes after me and not scott!) plus my finances are slowly but surely getting in order too. I guess I really should just look at the great things that are going on in my life and try to ignore the minor stuff.
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"i totally feel like it's time for me to move on, we have nothing in common anymore, but at the same time...she's been my best friend for almost 2 years. she never calls me, so it's always up to me to try to make contact, and she gives me such a guilt trip over not going to visit her, but every time i try to she has plans. i feel like it's really important for a girl to have a girlfriend she can turn to, but i just don't think that she's really there for me like she knows i am for her, which i have proven time and time again."
I think that friendships depend on bidirectional communication. I've had several friendships end for this simple reason. It's hard to be the only person to call or reach out and have the other person just crap all over the place. It's tough. But sometimes, you have to tell yourself, "I can't let this person bring me down or drag me into things I just can't deal with or don't have time to deal with".
It doesn't sound like she understands who you are or where your priorities are. You don't have time to hang out all the time, but you try. But job one is being a mother to a wonderful little girl which is like 5 full-time jobs. Add in the process of building a relationship with Will, and it leaves very little time.
It just sounds like you two (you and nae) need to take a break from each other so she can realize what she needs to do to elevate herself personally and you two can rebuild the needed connection in a new way.
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