OK, so yet another reason to think that exes suck hardcore. So i get a call a couple days ago saying that I am being put into collections for a $3000.00 bill from the apartment that Brian and I shared. And by sharing I mean that he promised to pay half, and didn't ever pay a cent the whole time we lived together. so the guy tells me that they have been sending notices for the last year and have received no response. gee, maybe that's because all the notices were going to Brian's house, and I knew nothing about it! so now i have to come up with 3 grand, and Brian continues to get off Scott free. gotta love the fairness there. so i was talking to will shortly after i got the call, and he tells me well you signed the lease, so you're responsible for the payment, and you should have known this was coming, and all kinds of other "logical" things. OK, I'm sorry, but if you got a phone call saying you're going into collections for that much money, do you really want someone telling you it's all yr fault and you deserve it? um...no! so he tells me that i need to go to the bank right that moment and apply for a personal loan, and i tell him i don't want to cause I'm upset and i don't wanna break into tears out in public. is it just me or is that kind of insensitive? finally i cave in and go, and he comes with, which was good, cause i didn't know what kind of loan to get or anything, and he has some experience with that kind of thing. i told him that he was being insensitive though, and he said that he just looks at things logically. whatever.
so i actually got the loan, which was pretty damn great, so i can call the guy back and pay it off in full before it damages my credit. So i called Brian, cause i want to at least tell him he owes half, not that it will get me anything, he still doesn't have a job. and he's been getting these notices for a year and never said a friggin word to me, and that's beyond wrong. he could have dropped it off in my mailbox, or told nae to tell me, or called me. there were def options there. so i called him yesterday at 1230, and he was still asleep. i asked his gram to have him call me at 4. no call. i called again at 430, no answer. then this morning at like 6 he sends me a myspace msg. "you rang?-Brian"
um...ok, how about you call me at a decent hour? how about you tell me the best time to get ahold of you? how about acting like a human instead of a 12 yr old little boy? uhg!
so i responded and told him i need to talk to him, and asked him to tell me the best time to get ahold of him. I don't even know what to say to him. I'm so pissed. and I've been trying so hard to get my finances in order and everything, and everything I've done is now undone. it's just not fair.
the guy at the debt collectors said i should sue him. he also told me that he would give me all the information to do so. but idk. i mean he doesn't have a job, so even if i did sue him, it wouldn't be him paying, it would be his ma or grandparents. and they are REALLY good people. and will says that even if you sue someone, and the judge rules in my favor, it would still be up to me to collect. so if he didn't wanna pay, then basically he wouldn't even have to. what kind of sense does that make?!
i just really don't know what to say to him when i finally do talk to him, and i don't know what to do about the whole situation.
any suggestions?
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5 comments:
Okay. You should know by now that even the best of us guys can make faux pas on when to be logical, but Will was right.
You don't need your credit jacked up. As far as the ex, yes. Sue him. If it's not his money you get, fine. As long as you get your money. Let him deal with where it comes from. You need your money back.
Here's what I suggest you do:
Call the ex, or meet up with him or whatever you need to do. Explain how you got the call and you took care of things so you do not damage your credit. Explain your distain for the not being notified about the money, and that he needs to pay you back.
Set an amount of time for him to pay you back. If he doesn't, sue.
This happened to my old roommate, but he let it go and fucked his credit.
I would not let my credit get screwed over this. hence the getting a loan. i just don't know about the sueing, i mean it's not him that's going to pay for it, ya know. i would hate to be a bad person to his family, it's not their fault he's such a loser.
But that's his problem to deal with. You are only suing him. Whether or not they give him the money is not your concern. He could sell his body to medical testing, or whatever, as long as you get your money.
There's a time and a place to be nice.
This is not one of them. This is about money you are owed, and it's a considerable amount. Let him deal with how he gets it.
I am so sorry this happening to you. It's good that you already sought help to get this under control. Now is also the time to get things in order for a court case.
Meet with the ex. Try to figure out how this will be resolved. He is no longer your problem. If he has to borrow the money from his family, so be it - he is their problem. They might be absolutely great people, but your loyalty belongs to your family, especially your child. Each dollar that you are paying to resolve this issue, you are unable to put toward your daughter's future. Remember: your ex's irresponsible behavior is taking away opportunities for your daughter.
Hopefully, you will not have to reach a courtroom. Give him a short timeline. Document everything with signatures and notarize the documents wherever you can get them notarized. If he can't follow up properly, take him to court - but make sure you consult legal counsel soon to find out how much time you will have before a civil suit is no longer possible (typically, three years is the limit).
Also, collections is a negotiation department. Make sure you get everything in writing, i.e. all the documentation you will need to sue the ex, as well as any documents they can give you (on official company letterhead) that explains that this will NOT be on your credit report.
As far I don't believe that Will was trying to upset you. He is just very...direct. His language may not have included the supportive words we all want to hear in times of woe, but his actions do speak louder. He went with you and helped determine the details of the loan, and he advised you to not wait. Those are positives. Some guys don't necessarily experience the emotional impact of these things - they simply move toward the beast that needs to be taken down...and they take it down.
Keep up the good work.
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