So i've noticed that I really don't wanna do anything anymore. I have no interest in my job. It's becoming such a pain in the ass. So i've taken over the salary payrolls from another girl that used to run them. The director of HR thought it would be a better idea to have one person doing all of the payrolls. which makes perfect sense. and because i do such a good job with the other 2 payrolls I run, they decided to give me the other 2. so back when this all started I was all excited cause it meant that they trusted me with salary information, which has always been very hush hush, plus i like doing payrolls so i thought it would be good.
So then it comes time for the girl who already does salary payrolls to hand off the job to me. She turns into a total bitch about it. Won't show me everything i need to know, won't teach me, and just being mean as I ask questions. for example, she tells me to sit at her desk and run these 4 reports and take care of that. So i'm like, ok, well are you gonna show me what reports you're talking about? Are you gonna tell me where these figures come from? I mean how is that teaching? Then she tells earlene that she doesn't think i'm gonna be able to handle this job, and that I don't ask enough questions. Bull shit! I had to ask questions cause she wasn't offering any of the information up! Earlene says that it's because when she learned the payroll she didn't have a clue, but I've been running payrolls for 5 years, i kind of know what i'm doing. Then her and some other girl at work were talking about me at lunch with Earlene there and they were talking about how i'm not gonna know anything and I'm gonna have to talk to earlene about all these things that nicole never mentioned that i had to do. So earlene says nicole is trying to set me up for failure. WTF?!
I've never been anything but nice to this girl. I help her run reports that she doesn't know how to do, I've tried to help in any way i can. Earlene says she's just pissy cause i'm taking her payrolls and stepping on her toes, but what am I supposed to do when the president of the company tells me to do something? It just is really getting to me. I hate people being mean to me when i give them no reason to be.
Apparently I don't have enough to worry about already in my life, I need this chick trying to make me look bad at work. I just don't even wanna be here anymore, and reasons like this, I'm glad that we're trying to work it out that I quit my job and stay at home with the baby. She can have her friggin payrolls back. I just wish we knew for sure that we can afford it, and I'd tell her today to just not give them to me at all.
With everything else going on, I have really begun to hate my job, and if it weren't for the fact that i'm trying to pay off all my debt before the baby (including my car) then I think I would walk out.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
changes
before you read this, realize this is not public knowledge yet, so please keep this info here.
well, so I haven't updated in forever, and a million things are going on in my life. Will and I went to Vegas, and had a blast! everyhting was picture perfect. we went to all the casinos, and when we got bored of the strip, we went to hoover dam and the grand canyon. it was amazing! and on top of all that, he proposed! It was incredibly romantic! we were walking the strip, and we went to see the fountains at the balagio. there was beautiful italian opera going, and the fountians were beautiful. then when the show was over, he got down on one knee, held out the ring, and told me it was the ring his dad gave to his mom, and it's the ring he wants to give me to ask me to be his wife. it was so beautiful.
So we decide to get married in june of next year. we were gonna do it in his back yard. then my ma suggests we do it at the elks, and gets me a good deal. so then we change it to January, since we wouldn't have to wait for nice weather. so we start making the plans, and it's looking like it would cost maybe 4 thousand, which is a really good deal for everything. so we start looking into everything and planning and whatnot.
well, now let's change everything again...i'm pregnant. I just found out this weekend. no more elegant wedding. my sister won't be able to make it with such short notice. my brother can't come. we have no money saved up. my ma still says we can have it at the elks, and she was gonna look into getting a price break. even slashing the guest list to only 50 (which is only family, no friends at all, which bugs me too!) it's still gonna cost at least $1500, and that's with my ma paying half. I mean i know i'm being selfish. i know that things are bothering me that really shouldn't. so what if i can't have the $600 dress i fell in love with, and instead i have to look for some discounted prom dress or something. so what if he is suggesting a costco sheet cake as our wedding cake. why should these things bother me when i am getting everything i wanted out of life.
I am marrying the man of my dreams, and we're starting our family together (a little earlier then planned, but still.) why should such trivial things be bothering me. i've been scouring my budget, trying to figure out what to do. we were talking about trying to have me stay home when the baby comes. it actually looks like it may be a possibility. i can pay off everything i owe, except my car by the time the baby comes. and even my car would be paid off after just 5 months. that's totally do-able. by that point, with my phone and car insurance and everything I'll only be adding $92 to the monthly bills. that's not bad at all. I have to go through his budget now, and figure out if we really can handle the loss of an income.
it just seems to me like i have all this good news, and i'm so upset. Will is being great. he's very excited about the baby, and he's being great helping me plan the wedding. he's being more supportive than i think anyone possibly could be, but i'm just still in this funk. I just can't seem to grasp on to the good, and all the worry is looming over me. no beautiful wedding, it's like we're teenagers that got knocked up. this isn't about our love anymore, it's about getting married as soon as possible before the baby.
i just don't know what to do, or how to make myself be more happy about losing the wedding of my dreams. see...i told you i'm being selfish, i mean i hear myself and get so pissed because i sound like a spoiled brat. I just can't help the way i feel.
well, so I haven't updated in forever, and a million things are going on in my life. Will and I went to Vegas, and had a blast! everyhting was picture perfect. we went to all the casinos, and when we got bored of the strip, we went to hoover dam and the grand canyon. it was amazing! and on top of all that, he proposed! It was incredibly romantic! we were walking the strip, and we went to see the fountains at the balagio. there was beautiful italian opera going, and the fountians were beautiful. then when the show was over, he got down on one knee, held out the ring, and told me it was the ring his dad gave to his mom, and it's the ring he wants to give me to ask me to be his wife. it was so beautiful.
So we decide to get married in june of next year. we were gonna do it in his back yard. then my ma suggests we do it at the elks, and gets me a good deal. so then we change it to January, since we wouldn't have to wait for nice weather. so we start making the plans, and it's looking like it would cost maybe 4 thousand, which is a really good deal for everything. so we start looking into everything and planning and whatnot.
well, now let's change everything again...i'm pregnant. I just found out this weekend. no more elegant wedding. my sister won't be able to make it with such short notice. my brother can't come. we have no money saved up. my ma still says we can have it at the elks, and she was gonna look into getting a price break. even slashing the guest list to only 50 (which is only family, no friends at all, which bugs me too!) it's still gonna cost at least $1500, and that's with my ma paying half. I mean i know i'm being selfish. i know that things are bothering me that really shouldn't. so what if i can't have the $600 dress i fell in love with, and instead i have to look for some discounted prom dress or something. so what if he is suggesting a costco sheet cake as our wedding cake. why should these things bother me when i am getting everything i wanted out of life.
I am marrying the man of my dreams, and we're starting our family together (a little earlier then planned, but still.) why should such trivial things be bothering me. i've been scouring my budget, trying to figure out what to do. we were talking about trying to have me stay home when the baby comes. it actually looks like it may be a possibility. i can pay off everything i owe, except my car by the time the baby comes. and even my car would be paid off after just 5 months. that's totally do-able. by that point, with my phone and car insurance and everything I'll only be adding $92 to the monthly bills. that's not bad at all. I have to go through his budget now, and figure out if we really can handle the loss of an income.
it just seems to me like i have all this good news, and i'm so upset. Will is being great. he's very excited about the baby, and he's being great helping me plan the wedding. he's being more supportive than i think anyone possibly could be, but i'm just still in this funk. I just can't seem to grasp on to the good, and all the worry is looming over me. no beautiful wedding, it's like we're teenagers that got knocked up. this isn't about our love anymore, it's about getting married as soon as possible before the baby.
i just don't know what to do, or how to make myself be more happy about losing the wedding of my dreams. see...i told you i'm being selfish, i mean i hear myself and get so pissed because i sound like a spoiled brat. I just can't help the way i feel.
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